"SICKNESS"?? PRAY for miracle..plzz

Its been long time since I write in my blog.......Today I feel very useless, feel weak, and have a low self esteem. There no one to listen to me or support me( I REALLY NEED SOMEONE TO LISTEN TO ME NO MATTER IN WHAT CONDITION, ITS FEELS GOOD TO HAVE SOMEONE BY URSIDE, BUT SADLY NOW THIS PROBLEM I THINK I'M GONNA SOLVE IT MY OWN, BCOZ NO ONE UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M GOING TRU) , so the only way to relieve my stress is by writing it all out in here.

There has been a weird things that happen to me or should I call it sick? I myself also duno what is wrong with me. It been bothering me for nearly 1 years or to be exact 8 month to date. This illness or sick has been bothering me, I can't write it out what it is..but I do hope I really hope that I can be normal like last time. Do what I want, do when I need it. It has affected me emotionaly and my ego. I have been thinking a lot of things since it happen to me...even sometimes suicide, I feel depress. I have sought for several doctor, chinese doctor and even specialist, as well as try all other stuff. But the result is still the same.

I really duno what is happening to me.....I really scared that it will be like this forever. Sometimes, I cry because of this, my heart feel sour and pain, and even I feel frustated when I wanna do it. Doc have told me that I have too much stress and pressure, which I do, or maybe I have high blood pressure or diabetes that cause this things to not work, beside that, the doc even told me that it is my psychology problem.......

But I really duno which is the symtoms, is causing this thing. I really duno. This may effect my relationship, but I do hope it does not. BCOZ I care for this relation. But mostly I feel useless.....feel that I do not satisfy myself or my partner. What is going on to me?? Please, god, don't treat me like this? Why this things happen to me? I really dun understand? I went for a scan in a hospital but the doc say it is ok wif me? But does it really ok? I try med...but still can't cure my "sickness"..

Sometimes I really pray for miracle to happen, really pray for miracle to happen. But in this world, there is no such things as miracle... So I just can hope that it can recover over time. I REALLY DO HOPE I WILL BE OK.

I want to be "portable" when I need it. I want to have my ego and self esteem back. I really do.....now I really feel depress......REALLY DEPRESS... SOMETIMES I WANNA SHOUT IT OUT but I can't...I HOPE MY LOVE ONE WILL SUPPORT ME NO MATTER WHAT SITUATION, but this is not...the support is not enough. THE WAY THEY SUPPORT....sometimes i think? I'm I IMPORTANT?I'M I IMPORTANT TO U ALL??????... I really duno.....I really really duno....all i need is care and love... that is all I want.

But is ok, I understand...so I just pray for miracle to happen....just hope my this so call "sickness" will cure.. please please please I beg, cure it..

I feel better now by writing it in here... really feel better..... But the end is still the same, I still need to bare it myself and go thru all this myself......coz as I say, no one understand my problem and situation....but I do hope that "***N" care for me very much...really really much.....

"THERE WILL BE MIRACLE, WHEN U BELIEVE"

hope this is true.

So I just can hope.......

KAU ILHAMKU

Its been a while since I update my blog lol....Can't find a thing to write. But this song, Kau Ilhamku, this malay song sing by Man Bai. Too my surprise, this is a nice song ^^ Been listening over and over again for couple of week. Hehe, not feeling boring at all. Still love this song.

This song is highly recommended (even I don't like malay song, I love this song). Very meaningful also ^^


Man Bai - Kau Ilhamku

Beribu bintang di langit kini menghilang
Meraba aku dalam kelam
Rembulan mengambang kini makin suram
Pudar ilhamku tanpa arah

Sedetik wajahmu muncul dalam diam
Ada kerdipan ada sinar
Itukah bintang ataupun rembulan
Terima kasih ku ucapkan

Izinkanku mencuri bayangan wajahmu
Izinkanku mencuri khayalan denganmu

Maafkanlah oh…
Andailah lagu ini mengganggu ruangan hidupmu
Kau senyumlah oh…
Sekadar memori kita di arena ini
Kau ilhamku… kau ilhamku…

This song very "LAM" or SWEET if you get what I mean. Hehe I wish I know how to play guitar, try to imagine, playing this song on a guitar, on a beach at nite, a nite full with star or shall we say starry nite, with the one you love hehe^^

If you never listen to this song, faster go search hehe

Difference between Wife and Galfriends!!!

Just wanna share some jokes ^^ Kinda true though hahahaa

Wife is like TV, girlfriend is like Handphone (HP)

At home watch TV, go out bring HP.

No money, sell TV. Got money change HP.

Sometimes enjoy TV, but most of the time play with HP.

TV free for life but HP, if you don't pay the services will be terminated

TV is big, bulky and most of the time old, but handphone is cute, slim, curvy and very portable at any time.

Operational cost for TV is often acceptable but for HP is high and often demanding,

Most Important, TV got remote.. HP don't have ..

Last but not least........ TV do not have virus, but h/p yes..........have VIRUS............... once get it, terus KONG............

so better choose TV .....

Cheerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrssss

The 90's Those were the days ^^

This is an interesting article that I found! Hope you guys enjoy it.

We grew up watching Transformers, Thundercats, Woody Woodpecker, Smurf, Chipmunks, Mickey Mouse, Jem, Mask, Roadrunner, Ninja Turtles, Voltron, Baja Hitam, Ultraman.

Had to brush our teeths during recess at primary school? had to hold plastic cups, line up with your classmates side by side and start brushing our teeths at some open area... or maybe near some drain?? do you still remember that we had 'dentist' rooms where we had to have our teeths check? and after that asking each other the result. not to forget our 'program minum susu' in primary school.. Everybody is supposed to buy like cartons of milk that costed 30 cents.. and you would see everyone drinking it everyday...

When we get our vaccination, BCG and everybody is so afraid. the teachers who would want to punish us must use yellow rulers to hit us onour palms?? and the boys use it to show "power" when teacher is not around. that a bowl of mee soup or some soup only costed 50 cents at the school canteen... went to some sundry shop near the school or to the 'roti' man waiting outside our schools so that we can buy junk food like chickedees, mamee, ding dang with some toys in it, 'Ti Kam', ice-cream and we would play games like monopoly, uno, old maid, and all other card games like that...

Another fun time would be during Pendidikan Jasmani. the boys would play football while the girls would play netball... and it would be like we were playing in the world cup... but of course. the best would be main guli, batu seremban, bottlecaps, ice-cream sticks, 'Pepsi Cola one-two-three' , Cops and Robbers, main kejar-kejar duduk.. and for the not so active, those kind of 'book games' where we would use buku latihan to draw and ask our friends to play...

Do you remember the ice-cream tubes which are actually ice and colouring that are sold for 10 to 20 cents.. the colourful ones.. where you usually bite off the top to glup it down... waiting for school bus and some waiting for parents.the long wait and the rush in the morning.

What about days when we felt like doing naughty things such as folding papers so small to make 'lastik' amd shoot each other... how about throwing chalks??

Back then, michael jackson was just turning white.. and still had albums coming out.. compared to CD's, we were listening to tapes that sold for RM9.90...

In computer class, we were still using black and white computer moniters..played 'Atari'... maybe SEGA or NINTENDO...

Well, are we all getting older or what?

1) if you understand what you have read and you are smiling...

2) we have friends from school that are already married...

3) we shake our heads everytime we see high school students fussing about their handphones in school..

4) we don't hang on phone with our friends for hours a day talking about nothing...

5) when we meet back with our friends from time to time, we feel excited and happy talking about old times, the funny 'adventures' or stories that we experienced as a kid..

6) last but not least, that when you read this, you would think of all the happy & sad memories that you have experienced when you were still a kid and would think of forwarding this to your old friends that you have known since forever... i'm sure they would have a huge smile on their face after reading this.....

Intro

Ermm...how to start this intro? Ermm ermm.... hi this is my new blog, just started. The purpose of creating this blog is to write and try to share what is going on with my life! lol. Beside that, the main purpose is to write what I feel and express it out by in the form of blog, which I can't express is out with my mouth!

Keeping everything within myself, I think I will die of pressure lol, so to ease my pressure, I will write everything that I feel I can't express in real situation, so no choice but to express it out in here!

So about me:

I'm 177cm
I'm 87Kg
I was born on 15 JUNE 1987
My horoscope is GEMINI
ERmm the rest!
Ask me lol!
I don't even know myself!! haha